So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
