Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize