Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
