This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
