trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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