All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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