some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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