I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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