I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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