Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
