Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
