I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
