took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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