I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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