Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
