well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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