my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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