Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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