Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
