come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
