hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
