u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
