after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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