I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
