you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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