I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
