just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
