haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
