Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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