rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
