I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
where are you?
Hypothermia
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
