I think I died a long time ago.
Say something about gay babies.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
