there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
