i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
