just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
