Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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