He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
