the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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