woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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