How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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