Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
