I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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