I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Success! We fucked roommates!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
