you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
