Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
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