Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
