is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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