If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize