my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
