Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize