she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
