i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
