dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
