is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Randomize
