I forgot how hot balto sounded
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
