i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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