sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize