First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize