pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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