I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
