I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
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