ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
