is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Actions speak louder than pants.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
